Foreword to this months blog:
Happy heavenly birthday to my other mum. My God mum, my mate and one of my favourite people in heaven. I know it’s pointless to wish on something I can’t change. But sometimes I wish you were still here on this earth, and not in heaven.
In the words of Six60
“Took me in her arms and made me believe
You could be anything
That’s what she said to me
I know you just want what is best for me
I should be loved
I should be free
But mama each and every time they’ve been tryna find a reason to doubt me
And the further I climb they get louder tryna shout me down
Well sooner or later
Someone’s gunna get hurt
I’ll know where to turn
‘Cause all I need
Is in my mothers eyes
In my mothers eyes
What it means to be me, what it means to be happy
That’s what she hopes for me
That’s what she gave to me”
I’ll keep loving you from this life into the next. Always.
Each birthday is like a new beginning. Another year around the sun, 365 days to #doyouforyou
Getting Started
On one of the most special of days in my year. Here’s the getting started Blog everyone’s been asking for.
Here’s to the journey of you.
So I’ll jump straight in.In order to get started. You need to cut the bullshit. The bullshit excuses, the bullshit you tell yourself about your body, and the bullshit kai (food) you feed it… Have a tough conversation with yourself about what it is you want for your body.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I believe they set you up to fail. A month and a bit in to 2018 and I bet some of you have already taken your resolution and told it to go fuck itself?
Getting started is as much about food and exercise as it is about mindset. I was pushed into mine, by an intervention of sorts. But it’s the being consistent and continuing on your journey to a healthier and stronger life style that’s hard.
I thought I’d share some tips on getting started and the things I still do today. These are what has worked for me, and are guidelines only. You should always seek the advice and guidance from your chosen health professional.
Real Talk
I’ll get a bit deep here and give you something to think about. You can’t do it all.
When people set out to make changes, I think we bite off more than we can chew….. You’ll need to make some changes, sure – but they need to be small, attainable and tangible.
Food: There’s truth in the saying its 80% diet and 20% exercise. And I don’t care what you tell yourself. You cannot out exercise a bad diet. Period. Straight up. So if you think you can, you probably aren’t ready for change….
We need food to fuel our body, and if your Maori like I am or come from a family or culture where occasions are centered around food, you’ll need alter your mind set in order to achieve your goals. That doesn’t mean missing out; no one needs a case of FOMO. It may mean having the gatherings at your house, or you take the kai you’re eating, share it around, and give people an insight into foods, they may have otherwise not tried.
So let’s get at it:
Elimination – I went cold turkey for 6 weeks;
No booze, no refined sugar, limited process carbs, no takeaway. That doesn’t work for everyone.
So here are some tips that I found were life savers for me
My top 5 are:
1. Invest in a smaller bowl and plate to what you have now. – As a society we tend to eat massive portion sizes. Also try for a coloured plate. Hit up the op shop, or Kmart, there are some very cool designs out there!
2. If you drink fizzy drink. Stop. Replace it with flavoured water (use things like lemon, mint, fruit etc) and up your water game. Because no matter how much you think you are drinking, it’s probably not enough. Get a keep straw, a pretty glass. Fancy that shit up, so again, you don’t feel like you are missing out.
3. Meal prep. Yeah it’s a pain in the ass and takes time, but for real, if you want in this game. You’ll need to be organised. It also stops you from grabbing shit you don’t need to eat, or giving into a foods, because you aren’t prepared.
4. Stay away from – low fat, low sugar, less carbs. It’s just my opinion. But all I ever think is chemical shit storm ( someone once said it to me, and its stuck like super glue in my head ). You are better to have a small amount of a full version of something and be satisfied. Then fill up on shit not meant for your body.
5. Eat breakfast! It doesn’t have to be massive, but you gotta start your day right. Realistically you should eat within half an hour of waking, for some people that’s a big ask, again, just try and take it small, a banana or a small boiled egg are examples of things that we can grab on the go, or prep the night before.
Those 5 things, are just small things and that’s key – just start off small! No one’s making you do everything all at once. If you want to make the changes, chances are it’s taken you a while to get where you are, so it’ll take a little bit of commitment and patience to get this under way.
My other key things are;
Surround yourself with people who actually give a shit about you, the ones that love you when you are un-loveable, and the ones that will eat a salad with you and still be your mate. The ones who want to help water your garden, when nothings in bloom? feel?
You need those friends who are soft and give you the warm fuzzies and you also need the ones that will give you dose of tough love, when you feel like bowing out because shit’s got a little rocky – yeah life gets in the way. But don’t throw it all away because things are hard.
What you don’t need, is absent family and friends, while I’m all down for being a little selfish, and I’ll talk about that a little further down, you don’t need people who’ve ghosted, or who don’t actively support you and your journey, or think its competition. Or give you back handed compliments. They can all go #byefelicia because you aint got no time for that shit, fucking straight up. Its also completely normal for friendships to change shape. So don’t get all bent about it. Focus on you.
Change up your routine, I was actually told this by someone who had given up smoking and it’s the same principle when trying to change to a healthier life style. If you stay up late, and like to snack, try going to bed an hour earlier, so you don’t grab and stuff. Brush your teeth after dinner – I do this A LOT – especially because my mum bakes so much. That way I’m only inclined to have water before bed.
Commit to yourself. You’re doing this for you. Sure there may be other people, but ultimately, its needs to be for you. For it to stick in your mind that can be nothing but a positive shift – yes it will be hard, sometimes, overwhelmingly fucking hard. But the outcome, past the hurdles are so, so worth it.
Be accountable. For me I realised that in order to be successful in this I needed to be accountable. Some of that was already there, because I felt that I needed to show,particularly my sister and in my aunts memory, that I was serious about making this change. But ultimately it was up to me. I needed to be accountable to me. Sometimes the hardest thing of all is to look at yourself and understand that things need to change, and to stop bullshitting yourself, and to your life. You’re worth so much more than the bullshit.
How I stay accountable:
- I still see / speak to my naturopath
- I use social media to share and keep me accountable.
- I tell the people I know who will push me or want better for me about my goals.
- I continue to read and watch things about food and health
- I see my GP to help me manage an auto immune disease I have – which only makes me unwell, if I haven’t been treating my body properly.
- I set my self physical challenges to train for, that I know the old me would have never have done
Being selfish;
Being single, kid free and in my early 30’s you’d think this was easy for me. But I’m always doing something for someone, and I love it. It makes my soul happy. But sometimes I have to say no. Which was so hard for me in the beginning of my journey, I also work full time in a management position, which requires my attention for an average 10 hours a day 5 days a week, so a girl gets busy and stressed! With being selfish comes some guilt. You’ll feel, or be made to feel like focusing on you is a negative – yeap you read that right, but real talk. Like no-bullshit-Kowhai-when-she’s-passionate-about-something-Kowhai. FUCK those people and their guilt, take it straight out the gate and make sure you slam that shit shut. Because what I know from being on this journey to a better version of me for the past 3 years, is that, those who inspire me and support me, are still right beside me. They read this, they share posts, they comment, they encourage. THEY’VE GOT ME. I did the following to help me with being a little selfish
- Un following people and pages on social media
- Choosing who I invested spending my time with
- Saying no ( this was a hard one for me )
- Adjusting to find a work / life balance because I had never had that before.
- Cleaning out my clothes and getting rid of things that had no purpose.
- Not chasing people who spent NO time trying to spend time with me.
- I wake up every day and choose to be happy. It’s not always easy. But it’s my choice how I manage things in the day. So I always try to be positive.
And finally, make time to do things that aren’t food and exercise related. That isn’t fitspo. I generally choose the hippy shit re this because – I’m such a routine, in control person, that I have to just roll with it and trust in the universe a bit. So I love to watch the sun come up, I’m fascinated by the moon and the stars (Someone can do a name a star for me any time *cough*) I like to read, I like to go to the beach. I like to just be. There is so much noise in our worlds today. Just find a minute. Take a deep breath, and move forward. Every step forward – is forward.
I look forward to hearing about your journeys. My hope is that if my blog helps just ones person. Then it was worth it.
Kowhai x
Them Thighs 
This is great! 🙂
LikeLike